How to write a cord cutting letter
Cutting cords: the act of releasing what no longer serves you
Marie Kondo knew what she was talking about when she wrote her book. If you don’t know what I’m referring to - in the early 2010s, we collectively went through a phase of either reading, thinking about reading, or hearing from someone reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up.
I fall into a secret 4th camp of people who can’t claim to have read it, but skimmed it at the bookstore long enough to get the gist (and then read tons of articles online about it lol).
Marie Kondo wrote her book based on the Shintoist belief that everything has a soul or spiritual essence: rocks, plants, animals, and even possessions we create strong attachments to. I’ve been utilizing this mindset of “sparking joy” ever since:
When decluttering, create three designated piles: keep, donate, discard
Keep things that spark joy, and donate or discard what doesn’t spark joy
When an item leaves your life, thank the item for doing its job well! It has fulfilled its purpose in your life.
I used to struggle with becoming too attached to my possessions, but saying “thank you” quickly became a regular habit in my life. No matter how weird it felt at first to talk to my things, the method works!
I wanted to include this example, because intention is everything. By thanking your items before parting ways, you consciously put a positive end (and in some ways, a boundary) to your relationship with it. Not everything can, or should, come with us as we evolve through life. This method taught me just how cathartic and necessary it is to be in an active state of awareness - what no longer fits my vibration, what actively raises my vibration, and surrounding myself with more of the latter.
this leads me to…
How to cut cords with people + things around you
What is a cord? You are constantly creating energetic cords with everything and everyone you interact with. Sometimes, these cords can continue draining us past their welcome (or without us realizing) so it’s good practice to cut cords regularly, or at least remember to do it once in a while.
The simplest way to do this:
Visualize a string or cord between you and something attached to you. It can be a person, place, thing, or even a behavior that drains you. Then, imagine using a sharp knife or scissors to cut that cord. If you have aphantasia and cannot visualize, speak your intentions out loud.
For me, I like to do this while moving my hand down my body in a downward cutting motion - front, back, and sides. For more strength, visualize your body being enveloped in pure white light after cutting the cord. I’d also recommend doing this intermittently with family, friends, and whoever you spend time with; this makes it easier to operate from pure love, not attachment. This practice is a form of energy hygiene.
Write a cord cutting letter: four part method of letting go
This is a powerful method of letting go, as it involves burning the letter at the end. I’ve done this method once, and let me tell you - I could feel the release almost immediately. It felt like taking a cold shower after a hot and sweaty day.
1. Set the intention of your letter. Who or what are you releasing?
Think about something or someone that keeps popping up in your mind. Any sense of lack, attachment, or limiting beliefs about money/confidence/whatever. This could be things like old relationships, people, jobs, pets, situations, etc.
For example, if you don’t believe in yourself, why? Who was involved in triggering you to not believe in yourself? Let that person go!! If you have two different areas to release, write more than one letter to avoid muddling your intentions.
For me, I chose to release an old job situation. I didn’t feel guilty about leaving the job, but I knew the person on the other side was energetically lingering (because they kept popping up in my mind when there was no reason for them to).
2. Objectively describe what happened:
Now it’s time to write your letter. What happened? What is the limiting belief that affected you (if that’s what you’re addressing), and how has it affected you? In the simplest sense, lay out the situation in a linear fashion as objectively as possible. This can be as long as you need, so don’t worry about brevity.
3. How did you feel about it?
This is the most important section. Now that you’ve described what happened, how did the person or situation make you feel? Don’t hold back here - this letter is getting burned!
4. What is the conversation you should’ve had, that never ended up happening?
Depending on what you’re releasing, this conversation could be with yourself, a specific person, or even a thing. Whatever you’re releasing, imagine them right in front of you as you express yourself with no repercussions. Release everything you’ve ever wanted to say, but couldn’t.
If you’re talking to yourself, it could be a version of you from the past.
5. Forgive and release
Forgive whoever you just had a conversation with. For how it affected you, whether it be taking your power away from yourself, making you feel less than, or ashamed of who you are. Whatever it was, forgive them for it.
“I forgive you (insert name or thing) for…”
Next, forgive yourself for allowing them to take your power away from you, for placing limitations on yourself, for believing in what others said, for not listening to your inner voice - forgive yourself for whatever comes up for you at this time.
“And I forgive myself for…”
Lastly, conclude the letter with this powerful statement:
“I release any and all contracts with the people, the situations, and the energies stated above.”
6. Tear up the letter and burn it!
Do this exactly how it feels best for you. Burn it on a full moon, new moon, or any random day that makes sense to you. Full moons bring energies of completed cycles while new moons, new cycles. It doesn’t necessarily matter what day or where you choose to burn the letter, or where. I wanted to burn mine at the beach, but the hour was late and we ended up burning it at a park late at night with my friends. In the end, it didn’t matter because I felt amazing afterwards!
Pay attention to how your letter burns. Huge, billowing smoke can represent lots of emotions attached to your letter. A quick burn can represent that you’ve already completed this energy, while a slow burn could mean you’ve been feeling resistant to letting it go. Whatever interpretation rings true to you as you watch your letter burn is totally valid.
If you want, burn sage or palo santo to clear the air after burning your letter.
You did it!
Before trying this method, I always brushed it off as something that wouldn’t work for me. However, I felt markedly refreshed after burning my letter and it made me realize how powerful and cathartic symbolic gestures can be. If you’re looking to put down boundaries and cut energetic cords, I highly recommend giving this method a try.